-How i wish-

How i wish i didn't have a back problem that has a wound that will burst when the time comes for it, then i wouldn't have to worry about making doctor appointments and trying to get the doctor whom won't be able to do anything about it because he does not even know what's causing the wound to swell and unswell all the time.

How i wish i didn't have a back problem, then i could carry all 10 of my boxes down to the box room without having the need to ask "the guys" to help me. and feeling really guilty about it afterwards, because it is not their boxes and they are not my servants. and feeling really helpless when they start rejecting me because i cannot carry them myself.

How i wish i didn't have a back problem with an open wound, then i can not worry about getting it wet or sandy or dirty if i want to go to the beach.

How i wish i didn't have a back problem, then i wouldn't have to go through 4 operations since the age of eleven.

How i wish i didn't have a back problem with a long scar or actually multiple scars overlapping each other, then i would not have to worry about choosing gowns to wear at balls and proms, or heck, even clubbing or pubbing clothes, or bikinis and swimsuits, without having people or onlookers freaking out at it.

How i wish i didn't have a back problem that can be such a burden to others especially when it bursts.

How i wish i didn't have a back problem, then i wouldn't have to eat capsules after capsules of clindamycin.

How i wish

Oh, how i wish.