African Sunday, African Sunday, African Sunday, what can I say about it?!?!?!

So many thoughts, so many feelings, so hard to put them all into words. It was just good. Good all in all.

African Praise and Worship was done acapella, no drums, no guitar, no bass, no keyboard. just voices. and dance. and they were all so good. they all sang for God and not for performing or whatever and all their song lyrics were so simple. just "I am on the Lord's side", "I will sing Hosanna", "Papa God, where are you?" and so on... and every single song just hit a spot in my heart... and i actually started tearing at the 2nd song... because the heart, the faith, the soul, the willingness to just praise the Lord, of James, Mayel, Jaith, Victoria, etc.. just touched me so much. It reminds me of how I should praise the Lord, of not relying on the music and that everything depends on the heart of worship, our heart. our life. our soul.

What really showed me how good God is, how amazing God is, how wonderful He is, is when during the multimedia presentation, at the song, "Come, Now is the Time to Worship" playing in the background. It showed a videoclip of some pastor preaching on stage dramatically, and i thought "Oh it's just one of those overdramatic pastors". Then, the videocamera turned its viewfinder slowly, rotating it away from the pastor to the crowd. and the crowd was just amazingly big. there were like thousands and thousands and thousands of africans just praising and worshipping the Lord. You can't even see the end. I started crying because it just showed how marvellous and wonderful God can work in different nations. and to have a nation suppressed by persecution, by poverty, by corruption, to be filled with God's spirit and God's love and God's grace, was just so awesome, so great, so mighty, so powerful, so peaceful, so wonderful. I really don't know how to say it. You've got to see the videoclip and you will know... and the faces and the smiles of everyone who rejoiced at seeing souls saved at the concert or worship gathering. it was just wow, wow, wow, and at that time, i thought i should give my life back to Jesus. I felt so blessed on Sunday, actually I felt so blessed ever since I came to Adelaide, somehow I feel that I am growing much more here than in Singapore, I guess it's because I need God more here than back at home where family members are always there for you, and you're out of the comfort zone here.

Cast your burdens unto Jesus,
for He cares for you (2x)
Higher, higher, higher, higher, higher, higher,
lift Jesus higher.
Lower, lower, lower, lower, lower,
lower, Satan, lower.

i know i should be going to bed now at 1am in the morning, when i have duty tomorrow, but i can't get to sleep.

alright, happy birthday ben!!! happy 21!! see you tomorrow, and i forgot to ask you to bring the book, ahh!!!!!

ok... hmmm... ok... hmmm... i have nothing to blog about i can't remember what i;m suppose to blog.. oh yes, i remember now..

after reading through my archives and previous posts of this blog, i realised that every single post is about me somehow, directly or indirectly, about how i feel or about stuff happening to me.. and i've got to stop thinking about myself, and start thinking of others, serving others, and talking about others in a good way, not gossipping, it's bad to gossip coz it's a sin, but sometimes, i can't help it. i'm sorry God i just can't. but i've got to stop talking about myself and what happens to me.... but talk about others.... in good ways.. and why i like other people for who they are. what are the things about them that shines so much... yupz.... that's my new topic for blogging....

ok, so from what I heard yesterday, after I left the Library, they still continued talking at the top of their voices, i mean it's like what the ****? don't you all know how irritating you all are, and you still continue with it for the next hour.

I just realised what s***** friends i've got. they're not even friends now.. probably far away aquaintances who have no respect for friends or me who is trying to study in a library?

and none of them bothered to apologise for their atrocious and inconsiderate behaviour last night!

They just dismissed it as me being stressed.

And they are CORRECT in talking LOUDLY in the LIBRARY for ONE and a Half HOURS.!!!

conclusion: i live in a sad sad pathetic world with no friends.

:(

A Library is a place for silent study. You are not supposed to talk in a library because it will disturb other people who are trying to study. For example, me.

I am your friend and we are friends, but that does not mean that you can talk and not study and procrastinate with everyone else. Mind you, i am not talking about talk for 5 minutes about study related stuff.

I am talking about people who are my friends and not want to study and end up talking in the library for 1 hour plus loudly!!

It's a library for goodness' sake.

I know you all don't talk when Aussies are around, coz you all are scared of them.

But, when I am the only person in the other room, you all decide to come over to my room and talk to two other people.

And you all still have the guts to ask me, "Are we disturbing you, Amanda?"

I'm like "Yes, you are." In my head, i was going like "Duh, Of Course, What a stupid question to ask? Just shut up! If you want to talk, get out of the library!"

So, they say sorrie, and go to the other room where they start talking and laughing at the top of their voices for like 15 mins.

I could not stand studying with people talking about nothing, so i went to close the partition that separates the two rooms.

They say, "Sorrie, Amanda" again.

And guess what? They continued talking again at the top of their voices in the other room, so loud that the partition could not even contain their voices.

I was trying very hard to concentrate to study, but it wasn't working.

It's my exams people ultimately. You can't sit it for me. It's my exams and I know I've got to pass. So shut up if you want to stay in the library. Get out and talk outside if you want to. Don't disturb your friend who wants to pass. It doesn't mean that when you think your friend has studied alot the whole day, it gives you an excuse that we can talk as loudly as possible because she is our friend and she won't scold us, and she's been studying so much already, so there isn't a point in letting her study so much.

So, I got to the point, where I really wanted to break down and cry in the library itself, or scream at them or anything to get them to keep quiet and be considerate of others.

It's not the stress, it's how inconsiderate people who are your friends are. And they said sorry twice, and they still continue doing it without putting you in their eyes. Such selfish friends.

You don't want to study does not mean I don't want to study, ok?

Wrong concept.

SO I get to That point, and I couldn't take it anymore, I packed up my stuff, opened the partition and i get stares from every single one of them who were talking. They stared at me, eyes wide in shock, all speechless, all finally shut up! One of them waved bye to me, I just mouthed bye, did not even want to look at their faces and left the library back to my peaceful room where there are no irritating friends to disturb you at all.

Point is: Don't talk at the top of your voices in one big group in the Library ever for long periods of time especially during exam periods! You want to talk, get out of the library, other people need to study, you know?!?!?!?!

Happy Birthday Min Yu!!!

A secret is a secret. It is not nice to have it discussed about in the open among all the people that I don't want it to be spread about. You may not have said anything about it, but You would have confirmed it some way or other. Now, it is hard to make it seem like nothing has happened.

A secret is a secret. I am not the type who will go around telling other people's secrets and I had hoped that You will do the same. It might just be cheap thrill to You, but it really does go to show what kind of person You are.

A secret is a secret. Thanks to You. The whole world knows.

A secret is a secret. I am not going to trust You ever again.

Because a secret is a secret.

Happy Birthday Michelle!!!